About

  • BAKE

    BOIL. Get the real Jelly Belly. Mangoes, peppermint roca, blueberry.
  • SNAP

    Crackle Pop! Lock up the silver ware! Unquote--
  • BREADWINNER

    Panko beats. Think about reputation. Reputation is everything in our society. Did you not think that we would inquire about someone living under our roof?
  • CONTAINER OF:

    Halos in buckets. Wheezes, "I'm sorry I--I thought--" "You thought what?! That I would go on bandering? You will continue working on Vivian Ayr's Cloud Atlas!"
  • QUESTION:

    Sixsmith Concerto No. 6 Cloud Atlas Sextet I heard it in a dream, where the But I, something as important as this, can we describe it as yours, or mine? It's exactly as how I feel Vivian.
Showing posts with label guys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guys. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Guy Guide




Due to Popular Demand:



From a guy, to everyone out there. I know you're curious!

BODY LANGUAGE:
1. Standing Pose: See where my feet point. Watch the pelvis. It points towards the object of my attention. If I'm talking to you and that pelvis is pointing elsewhere, I want to move on. 2. Listening Pose: If I tilt my head, expose a little neck, I must be interested. (Think Vampire Victim)
3. Talking Poses:
If my head is slightly turned upwards and to the side, and I'm showing you under the cheekbone for the whole conversation, I don't want to talk.
4. Facial Expression:
Eyebrows quickly raise up and down when someone walks into room: More often than not, I'm attracted a bit, or interested.
Smile or not? Smile with only half my mouth, corner curling up... That's most likely a sneer.
Watch the eyes-- they should match the smile.
5. Sitting Pose:
If in conversation, it's a good sign when both parties are leaning forward, toward each other. This is the universal signal of interest in conversation!

Mindful Talk:
Hey! We don't think as far ahead as you girls do, but we're seriously not that dull.

Ask what my favorite sport is:
Choice A: Solo Sport, i.e. swimming, running
Means: I like my space, independence, and some me-time!
Choice B: Watch mainstream team sports like basketball, football
Means: I really am competitive in all situations, and I've got to have my team with me.
Choice C: No sports
Sensitive Streak!

How long have I known my group of friends?
Choice A: 10+ years. Same group all the way. Minimal change.
Means: Loyalty means a lot. Tough it out! and I may not like big changes that much. Give me time.
Choice B: I've accumulated tons of friends, everywhere
Means: I'm social. Bring me anywhere : D

Credit: If I'm flashing my card all the time, I crave status. I'm ambitious, confident. I'm motivated toward my goals.
Cash: Don't corner me. I'm Mr. Independent and self-sustaining.
Ask you to pay: Uh oh. I'm a dependent xD

Spicy food:
Choice A: Love it! I'm most likely a risk taker!
Choice B: I like it Mild. Consider me practical! It's a calculated risk.
Choice C: Hate it. I 80% don't like rollercoasters either.

Feet turned inwards, anytime: I'm insecure.

Our mind is direct. We plan how to get from A to B, that's why we're good with instruction manuals. Oh, and we're generally more capable, spatially. That's why we're usually better at sports : P

DRAMA freaks everyone out. No one, except the most catty of them, wants a piece of it. No one. So don't drag us into that stuff.

When we start nodding a lot and saying something like "mm-hmmm" and nothing else, we are in dummy mode. In one ear, out the other ear. But hey! Girls do it too! >:O

It's a little weird when someone tries way too hard to be one of the guys. Or way too hard to be hot. Or way too much in one direction in general.

We sometimes forget to smell ourselves. Too bad if you don't like our cologne/aftershave ;P But if the lady is too fruity, her perfume too smelly, where am I supposed to run? D:

We also...gossip. We talk about our mates too, but not nearly as much as the females do. And we do daydream about the ones we wish we can be with.

If we don't call back right after a date, maybe we really are tired?!?

Why can't guys wear skirts? Why do girls get all the fun?
Heels look painful.

We can be quite playful, when we're not trying to be so manly! :P
We have a sensitive side, just like the females. Try not to beat us up.

Peace out!
-Astroboy

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Secrets of the Female Mind





TOP SECRET CONFIDENTIAL ...........................................................................................................................
Put on your thinking cap before you proceed.
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................
...........................................................................................................................





Giggle Giggle
The guy's hand raised in the lecture hall: "I wish to make myself more acquainted with the mystical beings known as females!"



Are we females really that mysterious?





For guys who frequently find yourselves scratching your heads,the following guide will be frequently updated with our pearls of wisdom. Use them wisely!


BODY LANGUAGE:
How can I tell if Girl is INTERESTED in any way?

If girl is a normal, typical person--EASY TO READ:
1. When girl is listening, she tilts her head, exposing some neck (think Vampire Syndrome).
2. Girl suddenly crosses her legs when you enter the room.
3. She starts to follow you around a lot. She'll do anything you want to do. OR, if she is the reverse type, she will suddenly get aloof only at certain times and then huffy, pouty, or throw a minor hiss fit if not getting proper attention.
4. She SUDDENLY (note, the word "Suddenly") starts wearing tighter clothing.
5. She SUDDENLY starts looks at you when you are talking and smiles during a conversation. If she was louder before, she SUDDENLY got quieter, more... submissive(?)
6. OF course, sudden start of physical contact, repeated.
7. More to come


Guide to acting around Girl

1. Figure out what kind of person the girl is first. If there is a problem, do not deal with it like a blunt butter knife. Or like the quintessential ram with the wall. Think!
2. Girls think about relationships a lot more than guys. They think about the future, the quality of the guy, possibilities, and characteristics-- tending to super-overthink things. Power play!
3. Show solidarity as much as possible. Don't be a wimp.
4. Fastest way to get skewered-- tell a G she looks tired.
5. The world would be a much better place if everyone listened to: "If you don't have something nice to say, then close your mouth."
6. Do not overdo. Who cares if you are short. Man up! If you're too tall, don't act like a beanpole. Walk with confidence!
7. To avoid creeping a girl out, don't kiss her on the first date, unless she really wants you to. And then, if she didn't respond to your kiss by kissing back, don't try to kiss again. DUH!

More to be added. Stay tuned...

-ddmimi